No, not literally at the Adelbert but, they have one of these maps at the outlet mall in Lee, MA where I’ve been known to spend many an afternoon. The mall is weirdly laid out, so without the directory map, it would be impossible to know that in order to go from Just Socks to Calvin Klein, you have to go through the food court into the mystery passage next to Cinnabons. I told you it was weird.
Anyway, I’m driving to see a client today and I’m feeling a bit snippy. Come to think of it, I’ve been snippy all day. I wonder how I can be fully present for my client if I’m like this, so I begin to use some of my practices.
The snippyness feels tight in my chest, more like resentment now. I have choices; I can go into default mode from the past; tell myself that I can’t be feeling this right now and push it down and to the side, secretly wondering if it will surface when I least want it to, or, I can spend some time with it, acknowledge it and promise to make a safe place for it to wait, so I can come back later when I have more time.
So proud of myself for opting out of default mode and thrilled at how easily the new choices came (Yay growth!).
Only it didn’t work.
This snippy part of me was having none of it. It needed attention – now! It was having a mini tantrum; a fists waving, feet stomping,now Now NOw NOW fit! Okay, Okay, I say with my hand on my heart, I’m all ears, what do you want me to know?
It turns out that last weekend, when my workshop was cancelled (just the day before- ack) due to a plumbing problem at the venue, I skimmed over my disappointment to address the practical matters (emails to participants, rescheduling, getting deposit back, etc.). And, I was all about the silver lining. Hey now I can tell more people about it, and I’ll have time to write some more teaching stories (say this in a chirpy bad customer service rep voice).
Yes, but I didn’t notice the frustrated part that was let down, or at least, not enough. I had been so excited and then – nada – and that part just didn’t get its due. So, I get to learn (again) just how important it is to meet myself where I am.
It’s kind of hard to get from Calvin Klein back to the car (hopefully with a new sweater) if I don’t know that I’m still in Just Socks. I am HERE (at disappointed). Nice to meet me.
Benefits of doing the work I did…
Instead escalating the feelings (which is a worry I have), giving the sensation the attention it needed, listening to it, actually dissipated its intensity. Then, coming back later, in case there was more, felt possible. By talking to “it” I was able to use the mature other parts of me to dialogue with it, which in turn, let me know that I was much larger than this sad part. I felt confident and calmer; a great place from which to meet my client where he was.
AND – new date for the workshop, Listening From Your Body of Knowledge for Parents is Oct. 19th. We’ll learn more of the skills I talk about on this blog. You can check it out and sign up – click photo- if it looks like your kind of thing.