Are You Faking?


http://www.moveintochange.com/#!blog/cs6u

It’s that time of year again! That time when everyone seems to be making new year’s resolutions. Some folks are excited about them and some are just ignoring the whole darn thing.

hate-party-friends-new-years-ecards-someecards

For many, the turning of the New Year is the perfect opportunity to reset intentions, define goals and feel a fresh enthusiasm for life and possibilities.

 Certainly, it’s not necessary to wait for the New Year to do any of those things but, you might want to know that setting goals, of the New Year’s Resolution type or any other kind, is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence. 

The process of setting goals, if done well, requires tapping into your vision. It draws out of you those future achievements that you know will make you proud. And, setting the right type of goals (for you) focuses your acquisition of knowledge and helps you organize – your time, your inner and outer resources – so you can live more of the life you want.

(Want a new approach to goals that doesn’t feel forced? Drop me a line or give me a call.)

 These are the very same reasons many people avoid setting goals at any time of the year. Setting goals can, and often does, dredge up obstacles.

 It’s pretty typical to avoid setting goals because it brings up worries that we’ll let ourselves down. It brings up beliefs that we can’t reach for what we want because we don’t have enough self-confidence (now there’s a negative loop, for you). Or it reminds us of those times when we tried and failed, and so on.

One of my clients recently told me that her New Years’s Resolution is to “Fake it ’til I make it.” Then she wondered aloud if that was a good idea.

 This is a common piece of advice… Is it a myth or does it work?

 Well, it depends.

 It depends on what you mean by “fake it” and on what you’re faking. It depends on your level of experience with the area of said faking. It depends on your attitude while you are faking it, which has something to do with whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. And it depends on how comfortable you are trying something new.

 If what you mean by faking it is hopping into the driver’s seat  of a Fiat Spider when your only experience to date has been playing Mario Kart, then yes, read on...

Advertisements

Why You Need a Vision

featureThat’s what goals are for.

Are you confused about the difference?  A big vision is the starting point for change.  A big vision give us something to reach for. Hint:  If it’s something that feels just enough beyond your reach that it’s a tad scary, it’s a sign that you’re on the right track.

Goals ground us in the practical, in what specific parts of our vision will look like in real time, real life, in our real life. A big vision without goals is like dreaming of cooking the best meal ever without deciding what will be on the menu. It would be the folks at NASA imagining a man on the moon and leaving it at that. However, goals that don’t come out of a big vision exist in a type of limbo, purpose-less, limited, and therefore much harder to act on with authentic enthusiasm.

Why have a big vision anyway?

Humans won’t create something we can’t imagine. We’re designed that way.

We’re actually using aspects of visioning all the time. When we go shopping we may have an idea  – not always fully formed – of what we want. The feeling of, “I’ll know it when I see it,” tells us we trust visioning, that we know a real item can get very close to matching this unclear picture we already have. Or you may say, ” I want a bladdedy bah coat with boop bap beep on it, in cocoa brown,” giving rise to a picture of your coat while you describe it. That image may even look like something you’ve seen already, but not quite.  For some of us, this happens so quickly or under the surface that we hardly notice it while others use this function of our brain more consciously, more easily, more often.

If visioning is done well, it taps into our subconscious, into our emotions, our values – the roots of our drive and motivation. A big vision galvanizes us. We’re energized and alert.

Conjuring an image is one aspect of visioning, but not the whole enchilada (did you picture an enchilada when you read that?). A big vision needs to tap into meaning for us, and that usually translates to us seeing how what we want benefits someone else, or something larger than ourselves. Somehow connecting our personal agenda with  “the better angels of our nature” grows passion, which is another word for drive. With a fully fleshed out vision, the urge to go forward increases exponentially.

After that, come the goals.

Visioning answers the questions What if ? and Why? Goals answer the questions, What? and When?

What’s easiest for you, visioning or setting goals?

Don’t forget to leave a comment and share with your friends! Would you like tips and tools for self coaching?  Sign up for the Move Into Change FREE non-annoying newsletter here.