We’ve All Got ‘EM


question-1Every now and again, a client will come to me and ask directly for coaching to increase self-confidence.  More often, though, issues with self-confidence show up while we’re coaching toward other things. Important things like clarifying a career direction, writing a resume, practicing for an interview, or coaxing shy desires into the light. Usually, a client will ask me a question that let’s me know that there’s something about self-confidence there to explore.
Here are some typical questions:
  • Aren’t self-esteem and self-confidence the same?
  • Is, ”Fake it ’til you make it.” a viable strategy for building self-confidence?
  • If I were more self-confident I wouldn’t feel afraid, would I?
  • What gives me the right to call myself an expert?
  • If someone exudes confidence it means they feel confident, doesn’t it?
  • I don’t feel confident about this, so I guess I never really ever was, right?
I’ll go out on a limb here and say that you harbor at least one inaccurate or incomplete idea about self-confidence that affects your success no matter what success means to you. Most of us do. I’ve got a few of my own.

 

Wednesday Words: Myth #3

Myth #3Not true, though we’ve all had that voice inside that tells us this is so at least once. And that voice uses Myth #1 and Myth #2 as evidence!

What myths are you telling yourself about the nature of confidence, your confidence?

You can find more at my website  moveintochange.com

Wednesday Words

confidence myth #2_bPerfectionism is one of the biggest obstacles to self- confidence.

There are many myths about confidence, and, there are terrific practices to help us stay connected to our confidence and to develop more. While we actively increase our internal and external assets, it’s important to look at the patterns of thinking and believing that get in the way of self- confidence too.

I didn’t even know I was dealing with perfectionism until I started to explore patterns of behavior like avoidance, procrastination, and refusing to say Yes! when a good opportunity came my way and then regretting it.   “Who me? A perfectionist? Me, who can’t even ….” as I went on to list all the ways I wasn’t perfect enough to even call myself a perfectionist — Oh my.

So I did some experimenting. I acted like I was using perfectionistic thinking even though I wasn’t sure. I took to observing where the “never going to be good enough” voices were so quiet and powerful I barely was aware of how quickly I reacted to them.  And yup, the data showed me that it was time to take a look at how to interact with this “stuff.”

If you want more self-confidence, find yourself doubting your skills, avoid things you really want, and then doubt that you even want them, you might experiment with seeing how perfectionism shows up for you.

If you are already experimenting, I’d love to hear how it’s going.

Judy

Judy@moveintochange.com