Why You Need a Vision

featureThat’s what goals are for.

Are you confused about the difference?  A big vision is the starting point for change.  A big vision give us something to reach for. Hint:  If it’s something that feels just enough beyond your reach that it’s a tad scary, it’s a sign that you’re on the right track.

Goals ground us in the practical, in what specific parts of our vision will look like in real time, real life, in our real life. A big vision without goals is like dreaming of cooking the best meal ever without deciding what will be on the menu. It would be the folks at NASA imagining a man on the moon and leaving it at that. However, goals that don’t come out of a big vision exist in a type of limbo, purpose-less, limited, and therefore much harder to act on with authentic enthusiasm.

Why have a big vision anyway?

Humans won’t create something we can’t imagine. We’re designed that way.

We’re actually using aspects of visioning all the time. When we go shopping we may have an idea  – not always fully formed – of what we want. The feeling of, “I’ll know it when I see it,” tells us we trust visioning, that we know a real item can get very close to matching this unclear picture we already have. Or you may say, ” I want a bladdedy bah coat with boop bap beep on it, in cocoa brown,” giving rise to a picture of your coat while you describe it. That image may even look like something you’ve seen already, but not quite.  For some of us, this happens so quickly or under the surface that we hardly notice it while others use this function of our brain more consciously, more easily, more often.

If visioning is done well, it taps into our subconscious, into our emotions, our values – the roots of our drive and motivation. A big vision galvanizes us. We’re energized and alert.

Conjuring an image is one aspect of visioning, but not the whole enchilada (did you picture an enchilada when you read that?). A big vision needs to tap into meaning for us, and that usually translates to us seeing how what we want benefits someone else, or something larger than ourselves. Somehow connecting our personal agenda with  “the better angels of our nature” grows passion, which is another word for drive. With a fully fleshed out vision, the urge to go forward increases exponentially.

After that, come the goals.

Visioning answers the questions What if ? and Why? Goals answer the questions, What? and When?

What’s easiest for you, visioning or setting goals?

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Wednesday Words: Water Yourself

Right to growIf you’ve been reading this blog for a while or are getting my Move Into Change newsletters, you already know how much I adore Cheryl Strayed. This quote comes from Tiny Beautiful Things, a small book whose outsized compassion and powerful writing knocks me out every time. It’s a must.

The above quote reminds me of two foundational aspects of personal growth that I forget to talk about sometimes.

1) The right to grow is in our very nature. We often think that we have to prove to someone that we have it – but we don’t. A gazillion years ago, Byron Katie  told me that if I thought of myself as the tree outside my window, it would be simple to understand my own worth and then get out of my own way. I never forgot it.

Now I know  she meant that to participate in and contribute to the ongoing creation of life as it moves forward from moment to moments is our birthright. Trees don’t question it, so maybe we don’t need to, either.

2) The moment when I recognized that I wasn’t showing up in my own life was the precise moment II began to grow up. Don’t ask me how old I was…

Recognizing that we all must do this for ourselves is basic, yet so many of us resist.  Looking for others to do for us that which we refuse to do for ourselves leads only to disappointment, anxiety, isolation and a a profound sense of loss. Attempting to teach other people (like our children) how to do this is futile unless we live it first. By the way, all things I llearned the hard way.

Do not misunderstand, I don’t mean that we shouldn’t ask for help or trust others to support us. If we lack the core ability to show up for our real needs, it doesn’t matter how many people love us (or how much external pampering we give ourselves),  we’ve left the person who really matters (us) by the side of the road. And nothing, can make up for that.

So, grow yourself and don’t forget that you can carry the water.

watering

Meditation Monday: 1,2,3

I got up from meditating and three poems popped out. 1,2,3 – just like that. This would be nothing to write about except that yesterday I would have said, “I never write poetry.” So much for that. Last week’s Wednesday Words must have joggled something. It’s pretty scary pushing “publish” on these. Be kind.

One

No longer green,                                                                                                               just one leaf,                                                                                                                       falling.                                                                                                                                  A blazing announcement                                                                                                    The End Is Near!

maple leafTwo

Me? I’m going down like a maple leaf.                                                                                No polite decline, no withering on the vine.                                                                     First pinky, then thumb, detach.                                                                                     Open-fisted every color exposed.                                                                                      Feast your eyes.

Three

My dear, before I knew it you were letting go                                                             suddenly more beautiful because of it.                                                                            Then the breeze  took you.                                                                                                                               Does nothing last?

  judy@moveintochange.com     917.450.1524  moveintochange.com

Wednesday Words

take-action copy

Okay, so it can be hard to ask…but if we don’t ask, how will we know what’s possible? If we can’t see what’s possible, how will we know where to put our effort? If we don’t apply genuine effort, how will we thrive?

What’s the next thing for you?

Meditation Monday: Side Effects

middle pillarMountains. There are mountains you know you are climbing.  These are the ones you set intentions for and then create goals for. These are the ones that you decide to climb and that require a plan. It may be a slog on some days (Sisyphus anyone?) and on others, there’s giddiness bordering on high-altitude sickness. Mostly, though, days feel ordinary.

You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything, or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.

–Tom Hiddleston

hiker-staff

The “step by step” approach isn’t very sexy, but it sure is effective.** 

Obviously, reaching your goal is pretty darn sexy on it’s own, but there are also thrills from climbing mountains you didn’t even know you were climbing.These are what I’m calling the “side-effect mountains.”

An example:

I’ve been a “mouth-breather” all my life, and was told as a child that I have a badly deviated septum. “Mouth breather” – it sounds like some sub-species of obscene phone caller. It’s one of the reasons I had so much trouble meditating over the years, as breathing through my nose was uncomfortable. This was a mountain. But it was only one reason I didn’t meditate, and I dealt with it all the time, so it wasn’t the focus of 100 Breaths 100 Days commitment, at all.

I’m only telling you this because, just the other day it occurred to me that, after first climbing the 100 Breaths 100 Days mountain,  and continuing to practice (see Meditation Mondays), I’ve been effortlessly breathing through my nose for months now.

Side effect!

I could try and figure out how and when my breathing shifted, but I won’t…

Because, it’s too much fun knowing that the work of climbing a mountain has secret side-effects. I’m thrilled to report that not only is it worth choosing to climb, but who knows what other mountains you’ll summit along the way?

Mountain2    Have you ever experienced a sexy side-effect? Have you reached a goal as a direct result of focusing on a different one? I’d love to hear about it.

   ** If you’d like a Sherpa to help you decide which mountain to climb and create a plan for getting there, I’m here,  judy@moveintochange.com     917.450.1524 moveintochange.com

Wednesday Words: Spoken

Watch this aching, inspiring and beautifully produced 7 minute video. I promise you’ll be very glad you did.

TO THIS DAY

“Bullies Called Him Pork Chop. He Took That Pain With Him And Then Cooked It Into This. Shane Koyczan was bullied a lot when he was a kid. So he took that pain and made this stunning video with the help of some amazingly talented people. It’s kind of breathtaking and powerful, just a warning. Also, it has a happy ending.” Adam Mordecai