There are many myths about confidence, and, there are terrific practices to help us stay connected to our confidence and to develop more. While we actively increase our internal and external assets, it’s important to look at the patterns of thinking and believing that get in the way of self- confidence too.
I didn’t even know I was dealing with perfectionism until I started to explore patterns of behavior like avoidance, procrastination, and refusing to say Yes! when a good opportunity came my way and then regretting it. “Who me? A perfectionist? Me, who can’t even ….” as I went on to list all the ways I wasn’t perfect enough to even call myself a perfectionist — Oh my.
So I did some experimenting. I acted like I was using perfectionistic thinking even though I wasn’t sure. I took to observing where the “never going to be good enough” voices were so quiet and powerful I barely was aware of how quickly I reacted to them. And yup, the data showed me that it was time to take a look at how to interact with this “stuff.”
If you want more self-confidence, find yourself doubting your skills, avoid things you really want, and then doubt that you even want them, you might experiment with seeing how perfectionism shows up for you.
If you are already experimenting, I’d love to hear how it’s going.