Last night my son wanted me to watch animated Youtube video – something that made him laugh. It was made from clips of singing Disney princesses doctored so that in each clip there comes a moment when the heads of Snow White, Cinderella and their doe-eyed cousins are blown off, leaving their headless bodies dancing on and on. My son thought this was hilarious. Me, not so much.
Though I’ve been known to rant about Disney perpetuating all manner of problematic images of women I bristled at the downright cynicism of this little video. And, I was offended that my childhood heroines (Geez, did I just say that?) were treated so shabbily. Could it be that I’m attached to Belle and Ariel more than I knew?
Fast forward to this morning’s meditation. I’m watching and breathing, breathing and watching, when I notice that I’m seeing blobs of color ebb and flow in and out of my visual field. The reds, blacks and yellows are spreading and receding in a rhythm. I wondered if I was “seeing” my breath, but no, it was much faster than my breathing. Was I seeing my actual pulse? Letting that thought go, I synced my breath to the beat of the blobs. Everything went still…yet my breath was still going in and out, evenly. The thought, “Who is breathing?” passed by, but the the possibility of an answer made me feel like my head might explode. Not knowing what else to do, I got up and continued my day, doing what I do, singing my song.
Head explode lately? I’d love to hear what meditation is like for you.
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