Ask Judy #2 Dealing with Avoiding

One of my clients spent many weeks creating a work plan. She likes this kind of thing. Just a few last pieces to complete,   and      she       was          avoiding             it.

We discovered, that for her, work plan = following orders, no choice, and resentment.

Turns out this plan was required by her boss, who my client experiences as, ”rigid.”

So we decided to do the Metaphor Dance. It’s a dance with words for when you need to change your relationship to something you want. It turns a business into a wagon train and doing the laundry into sending love letters (don’t worry it’ll make sense in a minute). That day, we turned Work Plan into The Perfect Dive.

My client had been watching the Olympics and was enamored of the divers and their grace and control. These are qualities she wanted her work plan to bring her, but it couldn’t because she needed to start with exploring and deconstructing.

Now, working on the Perfect Dive feels like this: awareness, belonging to her, control, form, sequence, beauty, inner guidance, confidence, and splash.  And, she feels like the plan supports her,   instead of being put on her by her boss.

Here are the steps (I know, I know) to the Metaphor Dance.  I’ll use some of my client’s words as examples:

1.  Write all the things that aren’t working about this thing you want, including feelings emotions, etc. And the things that are working too.                                                         *my boss made me, resentful, squished, controlled, tired, rigid, cold, organized, focused, dry, secure, farsighted

2.What does this remind you of?
*orders, the military, football team, things I’m not interest in

3.  Now describe how you want this to feel, what qualities you want it to have?

*grace, precision, detail, ease, control, body awareness, sequence, confidence, courage, inner-guidance, elegance, strength, freedom through form, splash

4.  What does this remind you of?
*diving, a perfect dive

There you have it.

AskJudy: I listen to clients; in-person, on the phone, via email and in the strange land of Skype. I love listening to clients and I’m learning to love Skype -kinda. In all this listening I hear questions: interesting questions. Questions that are asked in different ways but are essentially the same question, or fall into a category of question. This reminds me that if one person is struggling or curious then it’s likely that others will benefit from knowing about it. This includes me.

So in AskJudy, I post a question from a client, blog commenter or random person who emails me with one (a question)- Don’t worry, I won’t use your name without asking permission, that would be wrong.  And then I’ll answer it as best I can.

Bring on the questions!


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