If you remember being five or know a five-year-old you know that they just love anything that moves: hence their preoccupation with vehicles (and excretion, for that matter). They want to make things “go,” preferably with sound effects.
This particular guy’s passion is airplanes and spacecraft. Power. Action. Flying.
He got me thinking a lot about motion; the moving to get away from myself, and the kind that sets me free.
This morning, as I prepared to sit in– I didn’t. I avoided it. I made the bed, washed the dishes, checked my email – you know the drill – avoidance stuff. Moving away from myself.
Okay. I noticed it. That made it easier to sit down (sometimes I get lucky).
I started exploring the perimeter, but it was oh so difficult to stay with it. My plane was circling over the airport, definitely not landing.
In a holding pattern, actually. It was uncomfortable. I didn’t like it. It felt familiar.
So what to do?
Nothing? Well not really. By nothing I mean, no fixing, analyzing, solving, or insisting that it change. Because first comes permission.
Permission looked like this today:
- I can stop here even though I haven’t landed. (Permission to be just where I am.)
- It may be enough to just notice. (Permission not to push.) Sigh.
- Even though my mind wants to figure out what I’m really avoiding and why, it’s okay for me not to know this. (Permission not to know.) Relief.
It seems that I know how to land after all. I have landing gear. And exercise, squeeze and relax, from long ago popped into my head. Permission does that; it allows something just right to come up once it’s safe enough – at least in my experience, that is. Doing it, I got to explore my holding patterns and then practice letting them go. Here’s how to do it too.
- You can do this sitting or standing, but flat on your back is best.
- Start with your feet. Squeeze them hard and then let go all at once. Do this again. Notice the difference between effort and release.
- Move up to your knees. Straighten them strongly and then let go all at once. Again.
- Repeat the squeezing and relaxing sequence twice with your tush, abdomen, chest, shoulders, elbows, and hands.
- When you get to your face, squeeze and relax your mouth, eyes and forehead, and then do the same with your whole face.
- Now make your entire body straight and tight. Release.
- Spend several minutes in repose letting your breath become natural. Notice if there’s any place in your body that is holding or squeezing. Scan for more subtle sensations of holding.
If you have something to say about giving yourself permission, holding patterns, or want to tell me how squeeze and relax went for you that would be great. Or, just hang out, poke around here, or the website Move Into Change.You’re welcome anytime.
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